English jokes

У розділі представлені англійські жарти і анекдоти на різноманітні теми.

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat.

Father Mouse jumped and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away.

"What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse.

"Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."

The doctor to the patient: "You are very sick."
The patient to the doctor: "Can I get a second opinion?"
The doctor again: "Yes, you are very ugly too..."

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."

The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"

The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."

The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"

Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Doctor: Next please!

A+ Excellent : Easter traditions in the UK

A+ Excellent : Easter traditions in the UK: Easter is the second most popular Christian festival after Christmas. It is a celebration filled with activities, special religious ce...

We Use Dynamic COMMUNICATIVE ACTIVITIES for the EFL Classroom Presented by Seneca Ryan

We Use Dynamic COMMUNICATIVE ACTIVITIES for the EFL Classroom Presented by Seneca Ryan

Play English games with 9-A form! (07/04/2017)

20 things to do before you’re 12, in search of a balanced education

Schools can try these activities with their pupils to bring about a broader education that raises the aspirations of disadvantaged children

Not all hobbies are accessible to pupils – the pursuit of many activities are limited to those who can afford the admission fees and transport costs of getting to a particular location.

Schools legitimately use the pupil premium to pay for disadvantaged children to do things that they would not otherwise afford, recognising that their range of experiences is much narrower than their more fortunate peers.

The pupil premium should be used in pursuit of excellence and equity – and equity can mean levelling the playing field, improving the life chances of disadvantaged young people.

The narrowness of the lives of some children in this advanced country is astonishing. I once taught in a secondary school on a white working-class housing estate, where many of the children had not even been into their local city and had no idea how far it was to the next nearest city. Education is the only hope for broadening the experiences of these children and raising their aspirations beyond their immediate locality.

The same idea is behind the National Trust’s list of 50 things to do before you’re 11 and three-quarters, the aim of which is to get young people engaging more in outdoor pursuits. The list includes climbing a tree, camping in the wild, damming a stream, tracking wild animals and canoeing down a river.

Unsurprisingly, schools that have carried out surveys of their 11-year-olds have found that, on average, disadvantaged children have done fewer of these activities than others.

Increasingly, however, as part of their pupil-premium work, schools have used the principle behind the National Trust list to produce lists of their own 30 or 40 or 50 things to do before 11¾ or 13¾, and have then used the pupil premium to enable all pupils to have this range of experiences.

This is not about taking the whole school to Alton Towers for a day out – it is much more important than that.

In pursuit of both excellence and equity, this is about schools giving children experiences that will underpin and expand their in-class education, increasing their range of skills and knowledge and giving children a richer tapestry on which to build.

Starting with some of the rural activities on the National Trust list, it is good for schools to draw up their own list – and then resource access to these things for children whose families cannot afford them.

With thanks to David Crossley of Whole Education, here’s a start for those drawing up a list for their school:

1. See a play in a theatre
2. Attend a professional concert
3. Visit an art gallery
4. Visit a museum
5. Attend a sporting event in a big venue
6. Do a 'backstage' tour at a sporting venue or theatre
7. Paddle in the sea
8. Visit London
9. Visit the nearest big city
10. Visit a factory
11. Travel on a train
12. Visit a national park
13. Visit a farm and learn where our food comes from
14. Go on an outdoor residential
15. Climb a hill
16. Make a speech
17. Design a web page
18. Do something that benefits others
19. Learn from failure
20. Go bird watching

Does your school have a list – and does it resource access to the activities?

Using the above list as a starting point, I encourage schools to make their own – one that’s age-appropriate and right for children and young people in their local community.

You can also reference this list of 100 things you should have done at school before the age of 11 – chosen by primary pupils.

The quiz game “Olimpus” in English

The quiz game “Olimpus” in English

On the 4^th of April it was the quiz game “Olimpus” at our school №67. There were many interesting questions in grammar and vocabulary. Also we read an interesting text and then answered for questions.

32 pupils from the 4-9^th forms took part in this English competition. We wish you to be winners!